Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Beat Self Sabotage And Create A Better Life

By Lachlan Haynes


Let's not beat about the bush: it's not that easy to understand how our subconscious mind works and we often don't realize how powerful our subconscious mind really is. It's also common knowledge that we are the biggest obstacle to our own success. But what does this really mean? We may get angry and frustrated when things don't work out well for us and tend to start blaming people or circumstances or just believe it's a result of our "bad luck". Or we may even say it was just "good luck" when things work out well for us. But neither of these is really "the truth."

Not many people realize that their subconscious self-sabotage is the true reason for their challenges. Why? Well in short, many of us actually create our own problems - and have absolutely no idea we're doing it. So how do you solve something you aren't aware of?

But since our subconsciousness is just that, a subconsciousness, it's seemingly out of our control. But that's a fallacy. We can counter our subconscious self-sabotage by using our conscious awareness; we need to take a deeper look into how we feel and what we fear - but we have to do this on an intellectual level (which doesn't mean you need to be a genius by the way). By doing this we're able to pinpoint any reason for behaving that is counter-intuitive to our ambitions. Once we realize what the issue is, it's much easier to plan the next step in overcoming our self-sabotage. But in order to recognize the issue, we need to know exactly what happens we sabotage ourselves.

Many times people simply fail to consistency make an effort towards what they say they want. For example, when we want to lose weight, we start out with an unrealistic level of expectation and excitement and expect very good results in a short period of time. We try different diets and push really hard when doing exercise (if we do any at all!) But guess what happens when the pounds don't melt away on the first day, week or month? Guess when happens when we look in mirror and don't see a supermodel or body of an Adonis looking back? Yep, you guessed it. We give up. We don't work harder. We just throw in the towel instead. But what if this reaction is giving us some kind of excuse for failure? Maybe we say we want to lose weight but really we just want to try, fail and complain. It's easier than dieting and exercising! If you're saying you want to get trim, taut and traffic but you eat junk food and skip exercises then you're sabotaging. Simple as that. But it's easier to make excuses isn't it? Doing the hard work is always unappealing. That's why it's called "hard work!"

Self-sabotage might also occur when we fear what other people will think of our efforts or we fear the results of actually achieving the goal. When you're worried about the consequences of your efforts (even if they are good) we tend to act in ways that will ensure failure. This doesn't mean we're aware we're doing it. Quite the opposite in fact. Self-sabotage means we are blissfully unaware that we are preventing ourselves from succeeding. We trick our mind into thinking that we're doing everything absolutely right. The key is to take some time and think for a minute about how you are behaving? Do you say you want something but do things that are inconsistent with that ambition? Do you say you want to get some work done but do anything else but the work? Do you feel that you just cannot accomplish your goals even if you try as hard as you possibly can? Do you feel you may not be worthy of your goal?

Time for some good news! We can all overcome this self-sabotage mess. The very first thing you need to do is understand when it's happening - easy right? Wrong! But it can be achieved with deep understanding and conscious awareness of your emotions, thoughts and fears. It's about being brutally honest with yourself. It's about holding yourself to the highest account possible. It's about deciding that your goal is more important than letting yourself off the hook time after time.

Have you been struggling with success? Do you feel like you can't just move forward with your goals or that things or people aren't moving with you? If you do, then take a step back and think. Evaluate what your goals are and what they mean to you. What were the efforts you made that are taking you towards your ambitions? And what actions are taking you away from your ambitions? Is anything or anyone hindering your success? Can you make better decisions in the future? What can you do to remove obstacles and improve your chances of success?

When we take some time to understand how our subconscious mind works we can also come to realize that we are in control of our own destiny (successful or not!) With deeper understanding of our actions (and the impact they have) we can stop self-sabotage. And what happens when we become aware of our self-sabotage and can prevent it? Well, anything you want! When you remove the biggest obstacle to success (yourself) anything is possible for you.




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